Then, use one of the above witty comebacks to shut them down! Sucka dick and let me in. messedupcole18 3 yr. ago. Whats the difference between anal and oral sex? Thats not to say the images on this page will make you any smarter, but they may offer you some material you can use in a variety of ways. This response works because it makes it seem like you dont really care what the question asker wanted. Tyrannosaurus Wrecks. We and our partners use cookies to Store and/or access information on a device. Because they'll never meet. Must be none of your business then. The doctor replies, Sorry, I dont follow you . When When When When When. To. What do you call the useless piece of skin on a dick? A slipper. How you respond when someone says something you dont like is entirely up to you. "You're looking sharp. I love jokes about eyes, the cornea the better. How did the pig get to the hogspital? Why do we like volcanoes? Used when someone brings up something irrelevant or not wanted in a conversation. What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? "What's the good news?". Its To Whom. No? So youre the only one? As soon as you open it, you realize its half empty. This response is very clever because it makes it very clear that you contributed helpful information. The first nun had a stroke, the second nun had a stroke, the third nun couldnt reach. "Between you and me, something smells.". While it may be tempting to give a rude comment a piece of your mind, doing so is unlikely to change the situation for the better. It was two tired. Welcome to Grammarhow!We are on a mission to help you become better at English. You put a little boogie in it. Im pretty sure I married someone elses soulmate. My midget friend got thrown out of the nudist colony because he kept getting in everyones hair. You might like: 22+ Witty Comebacks for Your Mom. Well. Dont miss these hilarious egg puns that will absolutely crack you up. Do you love telling jokes? 25. Today I'm attaching a light to the ceiling, but I'm afraid I'll probably screw it up. Right where you left it. The man. There is a conversation happening and you decide to give your opinion or correct a statement and someone looks at you and responds did I ask you? Its one of those moments where after the fact you think of something very funny or clever to respond with, but in the moment you are left in shocked silence. 14. Dont make me come in there! Are you an adult? Here's a list of 55 . Youre getting mayo all over my bed!, Maria went home happy, telling her mother about how she earned $20 by climbing a tree. Never criticize someone until you have walked a mile in their shoes. Read up on more bar jokes that are hilariously funny. Halfway. How do you make a tissue dance? What's the best-smelling insect? Because the queen reigned there for decades. Pilgrims. 10 1 More answers below Mason Chen Just a random teenager 4 y Related He was deadlifting. Saying yes to the question and then walking away without providing any further information is a funny way to escape that conversation and get away from the rude question asker. Here's your ultimate list of 100 plus why jokes and puns that is sure to tickle your ribs. What do you call two witches who live together? 27. Short Jokes That Are Genuinely Funny: 1. The other guy replies, "You're, What did the mayonnaise say when the refrigerator door was opened? "That . 2. Family Matters actor Marie Jo Payton details an on-set disagreement with Jaleel White. Otherwise, close the page now. Explanation: The setup of the joke calls for a To who? response, in which To is standing in for a person. 2010 The Thought & Expression Company, LLC. GetReaders DigestsRead Up newsletterfor more humor, cleaning, travel, tech and fun facts all week long. the bear replies. What did the snail who was riding on the turtle's back say? After five years your job will still suck. There's a new alarming warning about this popular dog food brand. Alright, are you ready? We recommend our users to update the browser. 4. I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather did. My Dad had a firm grip on my shoulders. Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself? "You wait here, I'll go on ahead.". When did I ask? Explanation: "Drei"pronounced "dry"is German for "three . This is another funny response that will leave the question asker feeling confused and dumbfounded while also returning to them the disrespect that they have shown you. A comeback said by mostly middle school boys when they know they have lost an argument but want the last laugh. Exaggerations have become an epidemic. What do we want? If you buy from a link, we may earn a commission. Usually, they know they didnt. Sucka. Learn about the best baby names out of Japan. What did one cranberry say to another at Christmas? This often diffuses the situation and shows that you are not bothered by the insult. It shut all my friends up! I cant wait to see her face light up when she opens it. He's all right now. In his sleevies. Never criticize someone until you have walked a mile in their shoes. Dress her up as an altar boy. Check the 2nd part of "Funny, Stupid & Hilarious Jokes" . Answer: Audi Question : What is the quickest way to speed . Knock knock. But grammatically speaking, whom is the object of the verb to., If Ive told you n times, Ive told you n+1 times. Hold onto your nuts, this aint no ordinary blowjob. Find out here! You might enjoy: 50 Dirty Comebacks and Insults to Win Every Argument. Or it is asked to someone who just said something that doesnt help whatever point the question asker was trying to make. I used to be addicted to soap. How can you tell its a dogwood tree? Unexpected sex is a great way to be woken up If youre not in prison. This obviously isnt working out. Good luck. But if you're a math teacher or a parent trying to help your kids (keyword: trying) with their math homework, you know a good laugh is exactly what the doctor ordered. Well-armed. She choked. Getting down and dirty with your hoes. But when played all at once, they form a C-minor chord. So theyd have at least one way to shut a woman up. Theyre clean, effective, and will leave the person asking the question wondering what just hit them. Why did the student eat his homework? This one works because it both acknowledges that you werent asked and draws focus to the fact that you actually did contribute helpful information to the conversation. Why are teddy bears never hungry? My mate says I'm getting fat, but in my defense I've had a lot on my plate recently. King Henry the Second. Now get ready to make some memories filled with laughter with these 70 hilariously funny jokes! Remains to be seen. What did the cheese say when he looked in the mirror? While the forgetfulness could be funny on its own, no one wants to suffer through the embarrassment of messing up a good joke, especially if its one of the, We are no longer supporting IE (Internet Explorer), why did the chicken cross the road? jokes, Do Not Sell or Share My Personal Information. What did one pig say to the other on Valentine's Day? In any case, a witty comeback will put the other person in their place and let them know that youre not going to take their crap. What do you call a woman who sets fire to all her bills? Fuck you said who? My son asked me what its like to be married so I told him to leave me. However, if you are sure about yourself and her reaction, try one of these: There are a lot of stupid jokes among good ones. That's it for now! I was horrified when my wife told me that my six-year-old son wasn't actually mine. Thats why Ive put together this list of 32+ witty comebacks for who asked and did I ask. I hope they help you the next time someone asks you this question! Youre dead if the rubber breaks. Knock Knock. 48. Cookie Notice 7 Up in cider. A little horse. A golfer goes. What did the left eye say to the right eye? Watch the video: Only 1 percent of our visitors get these 3 grammar questions right 28 Best Replies To Hmm (Witty & Clever), 29 Best Replies To Hey Handsome (Witty & Clever), Funnier Or More Funny Comparative & Superlative Forms, 25 Best Comebacks To Suck My D*ck (Witty & Clever), 9 Other Ways to Say Im Good At on a Resume, 10 Polite Ways to Say No Visitors after Surgery, 11 Best Ways to Say Im Here for You to a Loved One, 10 Professional Ways to Say I Am Not Feeling Well. Did you hear about the Italian chef who died? What did the clock do when it was peckish? Red paint. 38. Waiter if I get my hands on you! 4. Cause your face looks kind of funky. Who Asked, Nobody Asked, and That's Crazy, But I Don't Remember Asking are expressions used to indicate a lack of interest in what another person has said or posted, similar to Cool Story, Bro. 1. Youre late! she yells. When I was in junior high, the girls in my class would laugh at me or ask questions designed to embarrass me. All day thought-provoking questions Funny coffee jokes, check out the funniest Reader s! I decided to start smoking only after sex. A receding hare line. You just have to listen varicosely. The redhead says it looks like cum. How much money does a pirate pay for corn? This was voted one of the best jokes of all time in a 2010 Reader's Digest jokes contest: A priest, a minister, and a rabbi want to see who's best at his job. What do boobs and toys have in common? Explanation: A hyperbole is an exaggerated claimkinda like this joke. Best trade I've ever done! I was going to tell a time traveling joke, but you guys didn't like it. Wheeeee! This is another funny response that will make the question asker seem much dumber than they already do. Its the sound of you not talkingfor once. I was kidnapped by mimes once. What did the grape do when it was sat on? An impasta. Because theyre really good at it. Because theyre used to eating nuts. Embarrassed, and to spare her young sons innocence, the mother turns around and says, Dont worry. I didnt say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you. Thats because when Marx was a little boy, he hated school. "I'm not sure; I was born with them.". Founded in 2010, Thought Catalog is owned and operated by The Thought & Expression Company, Inc. For over a decade, we've been at the bleeding edge of media, pioneering an infrastructure for creatives to flourish both artistically and financially. Hot, because you can catch cold. 1. The more you play with it, the harder it gets. So what's the best way to get your child to tap into their funny side? What does a 75-year old woman have between her breasts that a 25 year old doesnt? If you have a great hand, you dont need a partner. He has six years of experience in professional communication with clients, executives, and colleagues. We've even broken things down by category so that you know which jokes will land best among your audience. What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree? I have a joke about time travel, but I'm not gonna share it. 19. What did one say to the other? Sometimes, you might be in a goofy mood or just want to laugh, so when someone asks did I ask you, you decide to give them a funny response. This response is clever because it takes the same disrespectful energy that comes with did I ask you and hurls it back at the question asker. Pun lovers have been pondering what one thing said to another since almost the beginning of time. How is a push-up bra like a bag of chips? You boil the hell out of it. 8. Because he felt burned out. Clever responses are better suited for when in the company of people you want to impress. A slipper. Youre probably dumb. You dont have to be rude or disrespectful when someone asks this question. The box a penis comes in. Whats the best thing about dating homeless chicks? Because below, we've put together a long list of the funniest jokes the internet has to offer. A Maybe. Kid 1: "I don't have a sister.". Because their horns don't work! What do you call a bee that can't make up its mind? But John came fifth and won a toaster. You planet. If you find yourself on the receiving end of a "your mom" joke, one option is to laugh it off. Wait, don't actually look if you want functioning eyes. If sex is a pain in the ass, then youre doing it wrong . If you want to find out who loves you more, stick your wife and dog in the trunk of your car for an hour. Then, use one of the witty comebacks listed above to silence them! Why arent koalas actual bears? A cat has claws at the end of paws; A comma is a pause at the end of a clause. I had to put my foot down. I like waiters, they bring a lot to the table. Because they're always stuffed. These wisecracks are seriously hysterical. When someone asks "did I ask you", you have only a moment to decide whether to be clever or funny. Whats the difference between a penis and a bonus? 38. In many cases, these and the previously-suggested formulas are no more than conversational fillers; the direct approach of just asking the question you want to ask often is a better thing to do. Funny can be good: Heres a bunch of punny jokes we found online that we liked. What do you call a guy with a small dick? Dude, your dicks hanging out. After youve finished with the thigh and breasts, all you have left is a greasy box to put your bone in. Aye matey. Shhhh, the adults are talking, so please keep quiet. Explanation: Say it to the opening of Beethovens Fifth Symphony, and youll get the joke. Masturbation is like procrastinationits all good fun until you realize youre just fucking yourself. 13. 50 Dirty Comebacks and Insults to Win Every Argument, 25+ Baddie Comebacks Thatll Slay Any Situation, 32+ Sassy Comebacks Guaranteed to Silence Your Haters. A meltdown. Your responsibility is to assess the situation and determine the best course of action. "You look drunk.". Well-armed. Assuming that the average lifespan of all these people was 25, there has been around 2.7 trillion years of life, if we multiply this by the number of days in a year (365), there is a total of 985,500,000,000,000 . There are twenty of them. I adore the following, in no particular order: knee-high tube socks, acrostic poetry, and my little brother. If a moldy dIck had a face, it would have yours . jokes just never get old. Did you hear about the cheese factory that exploded in France? Explanation: The first two errors? Youd better be. Did you hear how the zombie bodybuilder hurt his back? I used to run a dating service for chickens, but I was struggling to make hens meet. Its the people I tell them to who cant. This response is very mysterious and confusing, it means nothing but people will probably not know how to react but laugh. Well, I am 100% sure you did. It usually confuses people first time hearing it but that's the point. These office jokes are so funny, they'll make your day better or at least they'll take you away from what you're working on for a few minutes. What do you call a boomerang that wont come back? What do you call a teenage girl who doesnt masturbate? The best response to who asked is to stay calm and do your best not to overreact. 33. A priest and a nun were on a mission trip up in the mountains when a snowstorm Came up. A friend of mine went bald years ago but still carries around an old comb. Those are just contractions., Why the big pause? asks the bartender. Many are one-liners so you can remember them to share and share again, and your kids can retell them to their friends too, maybe even years later. Person 1: Knock-knock. A cheese factory exploded in France. Person . On June 15th, 2011, Neogaf [5] user Dizzy-4U used the line as a humorous response in a thread. What did the pirate say when he turned 80? On some occasions, it can be said in a joking manner between friends who like to joke around with each other and is said with no malice or rudeness intended. Why was the coach yelling at the vending machine? An atheist, a Crossfitter, and a vegan walk into a bar. Me loving a good discussion ended up having a long disussion over the communists and now he and many others in our group believe i am a borderline nazi. What did the man give his fianc, a card enthusiast, when he wanted to propose to her? There is the attention you were looking for. Your job still sucks. This response shows that you really dont care that you werent asked. One shouts to the other, "I need you to help me get to the other side!" The other guy replies, "You're on the other side!" Explanation: This works on a couple of levels: as wordplay (genes vs. jeans) and as scientific fact (genes can determine body shape). 1Forrest1. You don't have to be rude or disrespectful when someone asks this question. By the bark. How is life like a penis? Because they're really good at it. From super-simple toddler and kindergarten jokes to riddles for older kids, here are 50 funny, easy jokes for kids. More jokes about: church, men, money, priest, wife. You might love your life, but I think it just wants to be friends. When did I ask - slang Used when someone brings up something irrelevant or not wanted in a conversation. That really hurt!" the first friend exclaims. It is hard to know what response to go with, clever or funny. I don't think you should be happy. But that's not all. I stood at the front, cleared my throat, choked back the tears, and said, "Plethora." (Its three.). Why was the guitar teacher arrested? We have some cool puns to add to your collection: Party time always gives us a reason to laugh. 50 Valentine's Day Jokes 1. Which will often come across very rudely. My wife told me to stop acting like a flamingo, so I had to put my foot down. Whats the difference between your boyfriend and a condom? Waiter! Con That way, when you criticize them, you'll be a mile away, and you'll have their shoes. Thats the church I used to go to.. You might enjoy: 24+ Clean Comebacks for Get a Life. Dont forget to bookmark these hilarious what do you call jokes for future laughs! Kid 2: "You will in about nine months.". "Ouch! How do you make your girlfriend scream during sex? "Dill me in!". What did the left eye say to the right eye? He's all right now. What did the Buddhist ask the hot dog vendor? How do you throw a space party? 15. You mustve misheard me. I'm thinking of a career where I estimate crowd sizes at different outdoor events. Pirate Jokes + Printable Lunch Box Cards. Ivana fuck your brains out. .css-g0owdm{display:block;font-family:Memphis,Georgia,Times,Serif;font-weight:normal;margin-bottom:0.625rem;margin-top:0;-webkit-text-decoration:none;text-decoration:none;}@media (any-hover: hover){.css-g0owdm:hover{color:link-hover;}}@media(max-width: 40.625rem){.css-g0owdm{font-size:1.25rem;line-height:1.2;}}@media(min-width: 40.625rem){.css-g0owdm{font-size:1.125rem;line-height:1.2;}}@media(min-width: 61.25rem){.css-g0owdm{font-size:1.25rem;line-height:1.2;}}Tom Selleck Reunites with Former Co-Star, 21 Shows to Watch If You Like Yellowstone, 'WoF' Fans Say This Is the Biggest Choke on Show, St. Patricks Day Trivia Questions and Answers, Adam Sandler's Wife Jackie Shuts Down Red Carpet, The Reason Hoda Kotb Hasnt Been on the Today Show, Kelsea Ballerini Fans Lose It Amid Career News, The True History Behind St. Patrick's Day, St. Patrick's Day Movies to Feel Extra Lucky. Let's begin. Because it was a little horse. One slip of the tongue, and youre in deep sh*t. Why cant you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? It can be used in a lot of contexts but usually, did I ask you? is more often than not a rhetorical question, with no answer being looked for.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[728,90],'grammarhow_com-box-3','ezslot_7',105,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-grammarhow_com-box-3-0'); The short answer is, yes. History is usually no laughing matter, but sometimes we can't help but LOL at modern interpretations of the past. The closer you get to discharge, the better you feel. A hooker can wash her crack and resell it. By making him one with everything, the hot dog vendor is connecting him to a spicy dog, mustard, and sauerkraut. This response is funny because it allows you to really make the question asker seem stupid and you much smarter than them. The consent submitted will only be used for data processing originating from this website. Read on for 39 riddle jokes that'll entertain the whole family. Reporter: Excuse me, may I interview you?. When someone asks did I ask you, you have only a moment to decide whether to be clever or funny. What did one hat say to the other? King Henry, the second the queen leaves, well bring in the strippers! 8. We've been graced with our fair share of "dad" jokes, so-bad-they're-good puns, knock-knock jokes, and even some moments of pure stand-up comedy. This had the gang in the orchestra pit howling. The fact that there are only two errors. Apple Jokes. 9. Whats the difference between being hungry and being horny? Youre bootiful, fancy going for a walk?! Looking for some laughs today? Three nuns are sitting on a park bench when a flasher comes by. (Think trolls) person one: I went out to dinner with my family . Last updated: Feb 09, 2023 Jokes and Riddles For Kids and Adults to Solve. Explanation: A rhetorical question is one thats asked in order to make a point but doesnt require an answer. He just can't part with it. What do you get from a pampered cow? But hay, its in my jeans. What did the banana say to the vibrator? 32. Earbuds. The third guy ducks. Have fun with some of these. Did you hear about the guy whose left side was cut off? It is all about reading a room and assessing a situation when you have to decide between a clever or funny response. A dick in your mouth! 1. I dont think its possible for me to become a sniper. No, you did not, but everyone makes mistakes. Whether you want to receive further information on something or want to ask a question or maybe have a suggestion for us to improve content on this website, or probably you wish to report a . As a scarecrow, people say Im outstanding in my field. Hmmm, I guess you can see how much I care over there (then point to an empty hallway or somethinh similar) then grin. 31. Because they taste funny. A maybe. Next time someone asks you, "who asked," or "did I ask" use one of these clever comebacks and put them in their place. All while making the question asker look dumb. If a dove is the bird of peace, then is a swallow the bird of love? Why is being in the military like a blow-job? For fingering a minor. She gave me an Australian kiss. Because they use a honeycomb. Get out of here! shouts the bartender. You wait here, I'll go on ahead. Keep up with Mlanie on Instagram, Twitter and melanieberliet.com. What did one Christmas tree decoration say to the other? Because so many kings and queens have been reigning there. Elizabeth Mulvahill on June 16, 2022. A little girl and boy are fighting about the differences between the sexes, and which one is better. If at first you dont succeed, stop trying already. Well, if this is what they ask, here are some examples of witty comebacks you can use: "You've got very short hair, are you a lesbian?". What did the buffalo say when his son left for school? Bestlifeonline.com is part of the Meredith Health Group. Did you fall from heaven? Cereal pleasure to meet you! Close the door, I'm dressing. I know because they told me. Whats the difference between the G-spot and a golf ball? Sometimes did I ask you is said in a joking manner and a funny response would be appropriate after that. This one is funny because it seemingly implies that you didnt even realize that they were part of the conversation, making them look dumb and unimportant. We all wish that at the moment you could have some great response. Knock Knock! if( 'moc.enilnoefiltseb' !== location.hostname.split('').reverse().join('') ) { 41. Whos there? But, heres a warning: Only use them in an appropriate setting where no one will be offended. 40. Whenever someone has a health problem or feels like" Where do you find a cow with no legs? Because he was always spotted. Why was the nurse asking for a red pen? Want more laughs? Thanks a lot Sergios Rotar (hope i didn't make any typos. See ya! Cereal who? What do you call it when a snowman throws a tantrum? Is it ignorance or apathy that's destroying the world today? The little girl is pretty upset by this, since it is clearly true, and runs home crying. Because they're very good at it. ae0fcc31ae342fd3a1346ebb1f342fcb. When you have an app or website open in Chrome, ask Google Assistant to help you complete tasks, like finding a video to watch or searching for a message. Since 2017, over 500 new Campers have joined us across our three groups - Customer, Org, and Product - and we thought we'd share the laughter with you. 2. See you next month. The answers to this and other funny why did joke questions here. Why do vegans give better head? Oh, I didnt tell you? I went to buy some camo pants but couldn't find any. Why do geese fly south in the winter? Sometimes its good to learn new things. So they each go into the woods, find a bear, and attempt to convert it. You can always serve as a bad example. ), *stop what you are saying and say: "Wow you are rude, but I'm pretty sure asking "Who asked?" Did something bad happen to you, or are you just naturally this terrible of a person? 22. Where do young trees go to learn? 10. 45. A guy will search for a golf ball. Now do you get it? Please tell me this train of thought youre on has a caboose. You wait here. Explanation: Time is relative, especially to the entity that invented it. I don't know, and I don't care. A nervous wreck. What do the Mafia and pussies have in common? I took the shell off of my racing snail, thinking it would make him faster. A buccaneer. This response works because it responds to the rude question with a level of innocence that fully brings attention to how rude the question asker was being towards you. "no one asked" A man is being arrested by a female police officer, who informs him, Anything you say can and will be held against you. The man replies, Boobs!. What happens when a strawberry gets run over crossing the street? What do you get when you mix birth control and LSD? It usually confuses people first time hearing it but that's the point. Oh never mind, Im still working on that one. Some of our partners may process your data as a part of their legitimate business interest without asking for consent. Tap To Copy. "Make me one with everything." 2. Because the P is silent! The other girlfriend grabs a paper towel and goes to hand it to her friend, but she trips and elbows her bestie right in the boob. "Close the door, I'm dressing!". Hey! The next time you would be subtracting 10 from 90.