Probably my biggest moment of suppressed anger started on the 2nd of December, 2006. I remember thinking . Mine said I was making a spectacle of myself while in an induced labor with back to back contractions. PCOS and Hypothyroidism- Successful IUI's- May 2012 and October 2014. ? And yes, I actually fix my hair. Life with an alcoholic husband is tough. The only way to stop this from happening is to let your husband know that you wont tolerate any unacceptable behavior of theirs under any circumstances. This message, when put right, will force them to be in their best mood despite being overly drunk. Theyve been divorced almost 20 years and she still holds that one over him! I woke DH up around 2 or so once I realized I was in labor, and he drove me 20 minutes to the hospital. Judging from the two phone calls I had with Uncle B while she was in labor (one in which he was right by her side at the hospital and the other in which he was buying her a box of popsicles), Id say he didnt screw his job up nearly as bad as most of your husbands did. My husband made the list! Living with an alcoholic husband requires a lot of patience, courage, and the support of people around. First is, do you have a backup person who can be there for you? Start by selecting which of these best describes you! This can lead to further problems such as depression, anxiety, and social withdrawal. My husband took nearly two hours to have lunch with his mom at the hospital, after he had been helping me through contractions all morning. I ended up wandering around the hospital and eventually bumped into him as he was on his way back in Pack your own hospital bag. He never got that chance. My mom would have been my birth coach. He would still have had alcohol in his system and in hindsight, a cab or ambulance would have been a better mode of transport. He slept it off too long, that should be the only issue, nit that he ate. The worst part was later when he said, You know, you seemed kind of mad that I got sick. Yeah, sorry I couldnt be sympathetic. took a look and her and said he was glad it was over and that she looked like a spider monkey. It was her birthday and 12 days from her due date, her hubby had a few drinks and she went to the bathroom and her water broke. I was scared. I. I have pictures to prove it. He took my concerns seriously and that is the important part. Okay. You need to have a serious talk with your DH. Hes only a casual race fan, btw. They can give you tips and suggestions on dealing with an alcoholic husband and the challenges that can arise during the recovery process. (I don't think he would like that job much!). With our second child, he said, Whats the problem, youve been through this before..? You notice a mucusy discharge or "bloody show". After your first childbirth, labor usually takes less time. My husband actually went back to sleep when I told him I was in laborAnd then when we were AT the hospital, The nurse kept asking him questions about how to get her son into the University he worked at while they were holding my legs. I said the baby is coming now. With this next one, were doing a home birth, so no monitors, but I still anticipate him being so busy talking that hes not really focused on me. The following morning my husband went home to get his sugar meter (he is diabetic) that he forgot. Your water better not break on my leather seats!. Many people told me that being induced would be really difficult, long, and painful. Finally he gets into town, horses and all in the hospital parking lot, smelling like a branding! Hoping to cure the problem. Its so crazy, right? Go figure! With our first child, he made me wait until the show Charlies Angels was done before leaving for the hospital. He then moved to the toilet to puke some more before I yelled at him that hed better get the hell out of there because I needed it NOW. She said she would kill me if i left or fainted so, yeah, i was there for her..lol, I wouldve called my nurse in and asked her to slap him! Not during labor, but our almost 10 pound baby ended up in the NICU for low oxygen saturation. It was also Boxing Day so during labour, he complained that there was nothing on TV. IM IN LABOR, PEOPLE!!! Eileen, My husband went duck hunting and forgot to charge his cell phone. I tell her I need to go home. Based on our calculations, the due date for our first child fell during my husband's biggest meeting of the year, which involved a lot of preparation, presentations, and traveling. We women are quite wonderful really. April 2011. Whos really stupid? I feel so much resentment for his lack of physical and emotional support. What would make a soon-to-be-dad not realize the birth of his child is a momentous occasion? I was prepped for emergency c-section and we had friends in boats out looking for him in the bay. Pleaseselect whether I bother you once a day or once a week. I couldnt reach my call light, or my chapstick to throw at him, and he wasnt responding to me whisper shouting at him. For this pregnant mother, her escape was playing bingo. Drink Red Raspberry Leaf Tea. My now ex husband left me home to go to army reserves for the day as i labored home alone. Damn you to hell. If I could have, I would have stood up and cheered. It concerned me, I spoke to him about it, and he stopped. There is no pattern. For the rest of her births, she delivered at home with midwives. Here are 10 ways of dealing with an alcoholic husband: Wondering how you should be dealing with an alcoholic husband? When it comes to how to live with an alcoholic husband, try not to make any major decisions without getting input from your spouse or partner first. He passed out in my bed (I was in the chair) and proceeded to puke. My dad went out for tacos! My hubby is a talker, too. This was 1959, and husbands werent allowed in labor and delivery anyway. Thanks! 14 Things to Do With Kids in NYC When Its Super Cold Outside, The Mommy Shorts Guide to the East Village, The Mommy Shorts Guide to the Meatpacking District, 11 Sweet Places for a Kid-Friendly Dessert Date in NYC, Harlows Hip Hop Class is the Perfect Palette Cleanser to Last Nights Debate. He went inside to chat with the guy who worked there while buying cigarettes and chips before finally coming out to pump the gas. This, my friends, is truly a gift. He said hed save me a few slices for later. Thank you all for this! He arrived at the hospital with an emerald ring to give her..because after all, it was Mothers Day, and I was born in May. I would be concerned about YH having 5 drinks in one night on a regular basis. My husband and I were so excited that we jumped right into action. I was in delivery with my second child in 12 months. I also worry about his habit when the baby comes, if he needs to unwind now it's going to get a lot worse when the baby is around as far as stress level goes. I hardly knew my now husband of 11 years at the time (though I already knew he was the one!) You know, the stuff you still hold over his head. Experiencing a craving for alcohol. Its just like this all the things men do wrong only it was just one man, My man, so dont nobody try to take him! I went into Labor at 1AM after Superbowl Sunday - DH drank a good part of the day and night and had gone to bed around 11 that. Published: May. Guess who is going to be taking care of the baby all night through? I feel your pain! Check out this video to understand how to get your alcoholic spouse into treatment: Discuss the various treatment options that are available and find the best one for him so that he can get better as soon as possible. Mum had gone in to hospital and he was working. I feel bad that he lost his phone, but why was he throwing it in the kitchen sink? These are hilarious! . We got to the hospital at 5 pm. I gave birth in a Cambodian hospital that, well lets say was set up with top notch 1950s style equipment. He told me later he was definitely buzzed but me waking him up was the most sobering thing ever. I want to know how old the OP and her H are as well as the ages of some of the responders who are so sure their H's will slow down the boozehound behavior closer to their edds. To this day I cant even enjoy an episode of Duck Dynasty without wanting to smother him. Promote a faster and healthier labor. Men dont get it because the dont know what we go through with our bodies. You will have to work together, as a team if you want to come out of the situation. Wondering how? The dream doesn't end, and that's when I start to be afraid. When he came home and realized I was gone, he assumed I was just shopping or visiting family. I dont want to deal with your stink and neither do the doctors and nurses! At the hospital after the birth of our second child, my husband asked if we could not stay at the hospital because he didnt sleep well there and it hurt his backand, apparently he won that one because we packed up and headed home, where his selective hearing allowed him to sleep through the night from that point forward. I find it pretty fvcked up that you are okay with him drinking a "few drinks every night" since someone else can drive you to give birth to yours and HIS own child. At 9 am, contractions really kicked in and still no hubby. We went anyway, and I was 5 cm dilated with double back labor. I walked up and down the stairs a few times to see if it was real labor. The only way to stop this from happening is to let your husband know that, you wont tolerate any unacceptable behavior. When they told me at 3am to come in, he just asked, do you NEED me to drive you? It's not good. Apparently i was keeeping him awake. When I told my husband at 2am that it was time to go to the hospital, he said, Oh, not tonight, I have a headache.. Now this of course makes us, the people theyve invited over for a BBQ, a little uncomfortable. He called the hospital and they said theyd call him as soon as anything happened. Sylvia Smith loves to share insights on how couples can revitalize their love lives in and out of the bedroom. July 2015 Answer . He cracked jokes the entire time, including asking my medical team (all women in masks) what they were making in woodshop. All I can think of is - How in the world did you get pregnant? He's in sales and always has social work meetings where drinks are served, too, which doesn't help. Jack Morley, the giant baby, was born just after 8am. The local McDonald's owner, Steve Akinboro, rewarded . I've tried explaining this to him, but he really thinks he deserves to unwind however he wants since he works so hard. When I was younger and unmarried, I had a boyfriend who was often kind of rude to me in social situations. After threats, and having my parents call and force him to drive back. And that he has a choice to make but if he wants to "risk" drinking each night then that's his problem if he isn't there. Finally after I frantically run around the church for a few mins he calls back in which I tell him get all our pre packed bags and carseat ready to go Im on my way home she is in labor, we lived 4 hours from the birthmom. 9 months or so? The next contraction, I look over to see him asleep. I think he needs a friend intervention - sounds like he would not listen to you. Well, setting up limits for them. Oh well, possibly because it was the day before I gave birth to our 3rd child, Jack. Lol! Limited-Time Deal on Marriage Course. A few hours post-surgery I started having a strong adverse reaction to the epidural which included profuse sweating, intense itching and hallucinations. I havent read all 237 responses, but did you get any from gay couples? Ask the medical staff questions. It was 4am when I decided to wake up my husband (this was 2 hours after dealing with the labor on my own) and I told him its getting so much stronger now. It was his decision. The only challenge that arises at that moment is neither your husband needs your help at that very moment nor youre a professional counselor. Alcoholism is a serious addiction that can affect both the addict and those around them. We made it to the hospital in alittle under 3 hours and were holding our baby boy with in 15 mins of his birth. My nurse who had me pushing literally would not let me catch my BREATH because she told me to push every 10 seconds..for 2 WHOLE HOURS. Sexuality has nothing to do with a persons character or supportiveness. My MIL came by after her work at 3pm to bring me food, saw the mess of family and refused to leave till I was tucked into a room with the baby across the building from the birth family. My doctor walked in while he was talking, looked at me still laying on the delivery bed, and told my husband he should probably take care of that later. Dear Amy: I am 63 and my husband (of six years) is 67. fiizzlee = vag ** fiizzle = peen How long has it been since you had a drink? I had just had twins by emergency c-section, 6 weeks early. I know what it feels like! I waited in the car while my husband went in 5 minutes go by 10 minutes 15!!!!!! I sincerely wish you luck this will not be an easy road, but I hope you both find the strength you need for the sake of your baby. My wife was not pleased. 7 min read. Sept. 28, 2016. They might have difficulties controlling their emotions and be prone to anger or violent behavior when drunk. Hopefully our midwife keeps him in line. Children should be seen, and heard, and believed. if you need help handling your marriage with a spouse trying to overcome addiction. omg, i totally broke out in huge loud laughter when i read this.in a silent room at that. The men or the women that married men like the ones referenced in the comments? -One Funny Motha, While in labor with a placental abruption at 34 weeks, my husband says I think you should calm down. Kept busy being a working mother of 3 children, one with Aspergers, renovating the original money pit and drinking too many coffees in the space of 24 hours. If your husband is an alcoholic, make every effort to avoid situations that are triggers for drinking. I know the tone has gotten pretty intense, but it shouldn't interfere with the central message: the behavior you're describing in your husband is binge drinking, and the more often he does it, the worse off your family will be. And that I hadnt eaten dinner and was starving. Michelle, My husband took a conference call on the way to the hospital. my parents always had a rule never to argue in front of me or my younger brother.. around 9 he came to bed, moved me over and tried to go to sleep. That's some heavy drinking. A woman seduces her husband at Halloween party and then finds out he switched costumes with someone else. When one starts living with a functioning alcoholic husband, they try to take control of situations, as mentioned above, and behave as a counselor. This will help you keep them out of trouble and save you from embarrassing situations. When my nurse came in to reposition me I said, can you please wake my husband up his snoring is driving me nuts She did, and he said, well who can get any sleep around here with that beeping(referring to the sound of our sons internal fetal heart rate monitor) It was driving me nuts so I put the pillow over my head!. The tank was on empty so we stopped at the gas station. I know you don't want to hear this, but you really need to read up on alcoholism. I don't know what kind of birth you're planning, but the Bradley books (Husband-Coached Childbirth and Natural Childbirth the Bradley Way, IIRC) are very insistent on how important it is that the husband be there to support, etc. My husband was working at the lake (20 min away) and was rushing home to change and come to the hospital. My husband ripped a huge, disgusting fart while I was in labor and then got offended when I gave him the dirtiest look I possibly could. The one thing that you would do at this point is go into denial mode. As soon as the dr left, I yelled at my hubby to get up and he acted offended! Baby #1 I was told if my water broke it could be dangerous (I had too much) but i was reassured 80% of womens do not break. When you go through what women go through in labor and delivery, you can tell us about being bitchy. What does his choice of alchohol have to do with it? Two days later, he picked us up from the hospital and wanted me to make eggplant parmesan from scratch cause we had a new oven. Yeah, you know, cause he was the one up since 5 am working on pushing a 10 pound baby out of his body. So I drove the 40 minutes to the hospital solo. Woman Had Husband Murdered While She Was In Labor With His Best Friend's Baby. So say he is out for a work meeting until 6, and he had 2 glasses of wine. Also I agree with a pp that it should be a conversation on the weekend or when he's realaxed and preferably sober. One suggestion was to bring food just in case I delivered in the middle of the night and the cafeteria was closed (everyone said Id be STARVING after delivery). Want to have a happier, healthier marriage? My hubby has a habit of drinking a lot (over 5 drinks in an evening) after a rough day at work, and I'm worried I'll go into labor, and he'll be extremely buzzed. While driving my manic husband was trying to count off 4 count breaths. When I was in labor with my first son, we had to drive through a snow storm to get to the hospital. So here I am in the passenger seat, in labor, trying (graciously, mind you) to keep my moaning down so he can make this call. My first child was early and I had a long hard 19 hour labor. I have always gone into labor in the evening so DH was home with me and it was my water breaking that made me go in. I folded those clothes some more. After 26 hours of Oxytocin induced labour our son arrived and my hubby had the balls to say jokingly Well, at least we know hes hers! There was never any doubt about paternity, it was just his stupid sense of humour. He says to her Oh, the hospital said theyd call me as soon as anything happened As he was saying the words he knew hed made a mistake. God bless my daughter for sleeping/ nursing her way into this world. Of course, I ended up delivering at 230 AM and when I asked for something to eat, the doctor told me Id have to wait until the cafeteria opened. The elevator went up to the maternity clinic where i had to yell for help because i couldnt walk. Nesting. Its not that alot of us men are not trying. The most common mistake a wife often makes is that she starts blaming herself for her alcoholic husband. She told him and he freaked out, made himself puke (totally tmi) and then was a paranoid mess the whole drive to the hospital. The only known and safe ways for your doctor to do it include the . 5. Its a natural tendency to try and take control of the alcoholic husband in order to make things right. About a month ago I asked him not to drink until after LO was here because I know it can get to the point that he should not be driving. I push for over two hours and my daughter was born at 6:55 am. Bud Grace And Frankie Weight Gain . A few other symptoms are: Drinking early in the morning. While having my first son, I tore from one end to the other. Last week, I made a simple request on the Mommy Shorts fanpage. I wish you luckI would talk to him now about this habit! It wasnt my normal doctor and she didnt believe me when I said that my four weeks early baby was estimated at around 9lbs 14 OAS two days prioryeah, I have huge kids, no gestational diabetesanyway So, she ignored that and made me incisions too small and couldnt get the baby out, despite the epidural it was PAINFUL and after ten minutes of yanking (not kidding) and vacuuming and RIPPING MY INCISION TO THE SIDE, I was screaming and crying. I am starving and not allowed to eat so I order him out of the room. A man can metabolize 2 drinks a day. With our second things went pretty well. this was his fourth child. Then he gets home and wants a couple more glasses of wine. Wear sneakers. I guess this is natures version of temporary amnesia because clearly, without it, wed never go back for more. Five drinks regularly to "unwind" isquite a lot. Even if this method doesn't work, it's a great way to relieve stress and keep your body strong for the . Needless to say, when, four weeks later he was resting a pack of frozen peas on his testicles from the vasectomy hed breezily put his hand up for, my sympathy levels were small to non-existent. Ignore your husband's alcoholism and start getting used to doing things as a single parent. My husband was incensed and, since he was standing next to my head, diagonal from the doctor, he leaned across me and said, gritted teeth, you will get my son out of my wife without hurting him or her any further or we will OWN THIS HOSPITAL, you fucking stupid bitch. It's annoying, but it's not like he sits down and pounds hard alcohol or something. You two need to have some serious conversations about his alcohol intake, labor or not. lol. Mines more funny than bad: I went to the hospital 7 weeks early and had an emergency c-section because of HELLP syndrome. Thats why I wish my daughter grows up to be gay. Well, it was getting late, and his sister called to see how things were going, and he smiled affectionately at me and told her that the contractions werent too bad yet. His father had to leave the room because he felt like he was going to throw up.saying It looks like hamburger meat. Im late to the party but here is a story for you In the worst case, you would also want to avoid the situation as much as you can. Labour won't "sober him up" and make it safe for him to drive. He is trying to lose some weight before the LO gets here. I could even understand maybe a beer or glass of wine a night (which I still think every night is pushing it) BUT 5+ a nightdo you think that is normal behavior? My DH does not drink every night but he is a binge drinker when he/we drink. She re-positioned the monitor and the needle was off both sides of the page. I told my husband in the morning that I had been in labor most of the night (he slept through it). Hours in labor: Never went into labor! Hours later on July 28, Emily Jacobs, a 28-year-old . Thats when I had to rouse him. Promote a quicker postpartum recovery. And the idea that being in labor will sober up a buzzed husband is absurd, it may make him seem sober but I'd bet dollars to doughnuts that he'd blow over the limit (or really close to it) on a breathalyzer test--that's a great way to get to L&D, in a police cruiser while your husband goes to the drunk tank. He thinks he's being 110% supportive, and says he will, but just drinking when I could go into labor any day is NOT supporting IMO. Here are 12 Natural Ways to Induce Labor. Diagnosing alcoholism can be difficult because it often goes unnoticed by family and friends. Sadly, this will only make things worse and nothing else. It's not much to ask for him to give up drinking for a couple of weeks or to just tone it down to a couple just in case so that he can still drive ina pinch. Bringing an extra pair of pants or a sweater might keep you more comfortable for what could be a lengthy labor. My husband was asleep in the chair and when they woke him up, he walked over to me and said, My foot hurts. REALLY? In his sleep. My husband fell asleep while I was in labor and was in such a deep sleep, the anesthesiologist had to maneuver around him in the chair in order to do the epidural. I mean you did what she asked, right??? I felt bad,infact still feeling vexed, Mine did the same thing I had to send my pap out to go buy my undies, Thats why I called my girlfriend to go buy underwear for me, cant trust men with that. While crawling along, my contractions got closer together and longer. I was on the floor screaming with what I thought were bad early labor contractions, but later found out I was already in full labor. LOL, you sound like my wifes ex. One day shell remember to leave the meat out for tea but until then she writes beautiful and amusing posts on her blog which you can find here:http://bernmorley.blogspot.com/, i'm horrible at arguing. If that doesn't work,I have two thoughts. So, instead of trying to take control of everything, just wait for them to accept that they have a problem and need help. Unbeknownst to her, it was contractions. All I am saying is that it will probably work itself out in the end. He was much better with our sons birth though even cleaned up after me when I puked in the basin I still hold that first time against him though! Around 4:30 Sunday morning, I start pushing. Then I asked him to wake our 3-year-old and get him ready for daycare.