Ramrod straight, each would respond, Marine Air Group 36, sir or Second Marine Division, General. Then there was one young private. Sure enough, a few weeks later, I lost my key. Aviation Humor. As for the rest of you, get down and give me 40 for lying!. She observed that the men now walked over 20 paces BEHIND their wives! Navy Pilot: Were flying faster than the speed of sound! Since my father had served in the Philippines during the war, I chose him. Some quick-witted comedian in the DC-8 crew got on the radio and said, "What a cute little plane. Top Flight Deck / Cockpit Jokes and Memes Collection. A joke told repeatedly at aviation industry conferences puts a man and a dog in an airplane. Military jokes 291 Pins 3y D Collection by Devyn Scholtes Similar ideas popular now Military Humor Military Quotes Humor Funny Memes Military Jokes Army Humor Army Memes Military Life Funny Posts Hilarious Memes Humor Funny Memes Spongebob Memes My son is in Marine Infantry School and one of his best friends is in the Air Force Academy. As I stepped forward, she jokingly offered me one, but I passed. This is really good, he said. S | Almost replaced left inside main tire. Here are some favorites from rallypoint.com: Instructed a private in the mess hall to look for left-handed spatulas My 90-year-old dad was giving a talk at our local library about his World War II experiences. Joke #1 Ask the Army to secure a building and they will set up a perimeter around it and make sure nobody gets out. St. Max Stanley (Test Pilot) The Piper Cub is the safest airplane in the world It can just barely kill you, 31. Thanks for coming back for me, the airman said, jumping on the back of the scooter. After an hour-long wait, it finally took off. 64. Everyone seemed OK with this order except for one confused recruit. Whats the difference between a special forces member of the Navy and an otter? What would you do if you came upon an injured man with a steering wheel embedded in his chest? Nervous and unsure, I blurted out, Drive him to the hospital? For some reason, the rest of the room found this hilarious. "As we prepare for takeoff, please make sure your tray tables and seat backs are fully upright in their most uncomfortable position", 18. Want some really over-the-top, cheesy jokes about the military? I asked an employee whether they still carried my deodorant. Military 3. I would stay behind and neatly print each soldiers name onto his Army-issued underwear. I was cold is not a sufficient reason for being caught in the female barracks. 4th of July 2022: Celebrating the Birth of Our Nation & Its Heroes, Military Appreciation Month 2022: Saluting Those Who Serve, Veterans Day 2022: Celebrating Those Whove Served. The only time you have too much fuel is when you are on fire, 47. When the plane was descending for the landing, the Marine put his boots back on and quickly realized the Soldier had been spitting in his boots. Filed Under: Lifestyle, Veteran Life Tagged With: funny, humor, jokes, military jokes. Ask the Marines to secure a building and they will charge in, kill everybody inside, and then set up defenses to make sure nobody gets in. 27. Caller: Is Sgt. Why doesnt the Army team have ice on the sidelines during football games? Me: Hello? 32. On-time Arrival Obscure term meaning unknown, 63. 8. My grandpa Bob was in the Navy. Its important that soldiers learn from their mistakes; otherwise, theyre bound to repeat them at inopportune moments. One day you will walk out to your aircraft NOT KNOWING that it is your last flight. USN: Helos It does look like its been fished out from the bottom of the sea.. A: The jet engine stops whining when the plane shuts down. Everything from puns to some sarcastic one-liners are included in the Army jokes below to crack on an Army member you know and love. Every one knows the definition of a good landing is one you can walk away from. When I told him I had no clue how to make soup, he handed me a cookbook and instructed, Follow the directions carefully. The official allowed us to pass without opening a single suitcase. What do you call a second lieutenant surrounded by PFCs? Do you have change for a dollar? U.S. Navy Warship: Please divert your course 0.5 degrees south to avoid a collision. As the soldiers disembarked, they started to jeer and boo. Not to mention, when spending many hours deployed and away from home, telling jokes and connecting through humor is the best way to avoid the difficulty of real life. P | Evidence of leak on right main landing gear. An old Marine Sergeant was standing near the edge of the puddle with his fishing line in a puddle. For example, heres what happens when each of them is told to secure a building. Another landing like that and I'll have enough parts for another one.". Why were the Marines invented? A tank ran over a bag of popcorn and apparently, two kernels were killed! I dont see it.. In his free time, he enjoys hunting, hiking, running, shooting guns, and reviewing gear. It was basic training, and I was seated in the barber chair bemoaning the impending loss of my hair when the barber asked, If you cant pick it up, paint it. You had tents?, USAF: Birds One day an airman, an Army soldier, and a Marine were talking about the hardships they faced during their last deployment. What did the Coastie say when his friends asked why he was getting married? How much noise can we make up here? 'Never tell the Platoon Sergeant. Anecdotes 2. Types of Rifles Every Shooter Should Know About, Rifle Vs. 1. They came up with that name using Operation Random Thesaurus. Air Traffic Control 6. I got one here related to the tranparency of Soviet news.. ----- *News report from Soviet press agency* A friendly communist agricultural tractor was intercepted by enemy group of seven Chinese battle tanks, while performing its everyday works on wheat fields along Soviet-Chinese border. The hotshot said over the air, "Anything you can do, I can do better". Military jokes - Pinterest Because hes a captain in the Air Force. Mother, As the general inspected our troops, he asked some of the Marines which outfit they were serving with. Military Jokes and Humor stories have always amused and entertained. Marines Say OOOOORAH! I was standing watch when an old, run-down freighter named Sagar Moti passed by. He wanted to move out of the barracks as soon as possible. Aviation Humor - F-16.net - The ultimate F-16, F-22, F-35 reference Officer: Thats no way to address an officer! Auld Lang Slice Related read: When Is Military Appreciation Month? 65. The Marines will kill everyone inside and then set up headquarters. No copyright required, as all content is freely available on 1,000s of websites. In the 50s, I was a clerk typist at our base headquarters in Verdun, France. 2. 16. Full Disclosure Here. Recently, a neighbor turned 100, and a big birthday party was thrown. Knowing my tough-to-spell last name would give him fits, I said, Just put down Sergeant Gary, as my last name is too hard. Airman: "The worst was when the air conditioner broke in our tent and it was 110 degrees outside!" Soldier: "No way, you guys had air conditioners? Officer: Soldier, do you have change for a dollar? I was very nervous, she said. For more information about us or joining the team, check out the About Us tab. We were marching to the chow hall when we spotted a pathetic-looking recruit standing at attention by a mailbox, a whole book of stamps plastered to his forehead. "He who is first will soon be last, and now I know what he means," King said, referencing a lyric from Bob Dylan as he reflected on what the race . It Bad Jokes That You Cant Help but Laugh At, Funny Photos That Will Make You Laugh Out Loud, Cheesy Pick-Up Lines Guaranteed to Get a Laugh, The Absolute Best Funny Movies of All Time, Weird Facts You Never Knew About Laughter, Work Cartoons to Help You Get Through the Week, Clever Wedding Jokes Perfect for Any Speech, We are no longer supporting IE (Internet Explorer), Do Not Sell or Share My Personal Information. A military base commander called to complain that the weather-forecasting software our company created for them kept reporting unexplainable wind shifts. (Hang up. 4. Its a NO FLY zone! If a baby joined the Army, where would they belong? During basic training at Fort Leavenworth, our sergeant asked if anyone had artistic abilities. Sent a recruit to medical-supplies office in search of fallopian tubes Spread the humor by leaving a secret written joke on a neighbor's stoop, a colleague's desk, or mail it to your best friend. 3. They bought their four-year-old son two stuffed bears one in a UPS uniform and the other in Marine garb. I thought you had to be in relatively good shape to join the Marines.. Yes, she said. He was holding a toothbrush, which he proceeded to use to scrub underneath the rim of a toilet. So I quit ordering it.. I wanted to join the Marines but I fell just short of their requirements. However, the mood was brightened when he received a birthday cake from his sister. See, Connor? he explained, pointing to the photo and then to the bear. They sure grow up fast, dont they?. Military Jokes Military Humor - Strategypage.com ! 2) American combat dolphins, deployed in the Persian Gulf, surrounded and captured an Iranian battleship. When I spotted a Navy captain on the street, I saluted and bellowed, LST 395, which was the designation and number of the ship I served on during World War II. Since this can be an extremely stressful job for the pilots and a boring ordeal for all you lovely passengers, we have carefully compiled this list of funny one-liners about pilots to keep your spirits up. "They're all mine. Yes, said the lieutenant. F-16.net - The ultimate F-16, F-22, F-35 reference Military Aviation Humor | Civil Aviation Humor | Life in the Military | Submit a Joke Aunt Mary is an F-16 pilot A fifth-grade teacher told her students "I'd like for one of you to tell the class a story with a moral", so little Suzy raised her hand. Do you want to hear about my plane?. The closets could all be mine since he wears the same thing every day. While in Kuwait, shortly before we deployed to Iraq, a major general told our meeting that we should expect to cross into Iraq in less than 24 hours. He then My gunnery sergeant and I were inspecting a Marine training exercise when we spotted a second lieutenant ambling about. After an overnight flight to meet my father at his latest military assignment, my mother wearily arrived at Rhein-Main Air Base, in Germany, with my eight siblings and me, all under age 11. She has a Bachelor of Arts in English from the University of Alabama in Huntsville. He started this website while transitioning out of the Marines, and since has recruited several other Marines to help him work on the Marine Approved website. Then came Dads ships turn. 130 Best Aviation Humor ideas | aviation humor, humor, aviation - Pinterest While drinking their beers, the smart-ass fighter pilot decided to ask, How many did you end up catching today.. Students are great about sending our troops letters, and the troops love em. Eternal Piece Divert your course NOW! Turn it off and watch the pilot start sweating. 6, 2 to cheer, 2 to fire the weapon and 2 to take pictures!